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Is it love of a decadent kind?

Is it love of a decadent kind? By Sandeep Kulshrestha
The fact that deep down within me is a desire to be a philosopher doesn’t go down so well with what i feel as down and out human and i am in that mould now as i stop for a while and think of her
She makes me appear as a lover when we cuddle up our emotions together and in the hazy shades of the day when she needs to drowse the fires of her insecurities i become her mother i don’t think i interchange the roles by choice every moment is undisclosed and beautiful even though chaotic
When i dream of her we lose our inhibitions in the wildest of ways
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At the moment It was us And the boardroom was quiet and quaint Sober and sombre the quarterly results well, what can one say?
And it thundered outside the first rain of the season as if seeking attention from the people in best suits and manicured tongues who speak their best, all the time
Suddenly, the chair got up (not the leather bound mahogany one) and opened the blinds the all glass room looked as if it was surrounded by the beautiful shades of greys dark, light, extra light, extra dark and the lightning roared as if there was no tomorrow
and it rained with gusto all over

When we made love all afternoon

Innocently you had put the curtains on but you liked the Sunlight trespassing the monolith wall of your living room you had other plans to light a dim fluorescent light which made you look a lesser shade of pink or was it your boldness painted by a blush?
When i touched your cheeks to verify the pink your lips opened voluntarily not concealing your vulnerability and we kissed in reality or was that a metaphor hitting on my hallucination?
We probed each other and there was no diagnosis and no remedy

Happy New Year

The year gone by
was diabolical
as any other year
more like the Orwellian 1984
the celebrations are a metaphor
of imperilled decadence
What can one wish
when the gloom
watches us over?
and the reason
is challenged by a hollow lunacy
the good things include
smiling people
and forgiveness
and that coffee
Let us value those
who are close
and that’s what should matter
in 2018 or in any other year
Happy New Year!

Wholesome love

I do say it with a hidden brew of
amorous dreams
of not too much of subtlety
the thoughts never cease to accept
that's it's a version of love
one which is rare
undefinable, unclear
it gets replenished
when I watch her face
through the prism
of my random emotions
I find the heart
telling it's own language
enhanced heartbeats
joyful waits
long drives unhealthy nibbles at a cafe
the healthy bites of
casual discussions
the nuances of smiling to self
an euphoric teen like feeling
all of this emerges
not with sobriety for sure

the messenger
nudges the message
but the certainty of all of this
is pleasing yet painful
the greens and the reds and the yellows
the colors so vivid
like her persona
and my precarious thoughts
it is all so alarmingly exciting
and wholesome
just like her endless giggles 


From the hubris
of a silence that is heard
a chivalry of emotions
perceived delusions
and the pain
with a daft ignorance
I become someone else
with the stroke of a thought
it chokes the earlier me
gagged thought
can only gasp for truth
but the hope still survives
the question remains as it is
Should I be a bruised cat
or a phoenix?

The Space

You reclaimed the space by your contemplative stare at the ambience of people and intellect sometimes with a tilt of the zaftig shoulders with a fragile hand next to a cheek and the other handling the mobile phone and it didn’t fell!
the hues of yellow and red and blue the dress of a rebel, of an innocent pulchritude And those revelatory eyes well, they don’t disclose Almost!
the excitement of connections the child like laughter the bonhomie over the tea the space was yours enchantingly so!
the different shades of emotions had me spellbound when i close my eyes I breathe those moments
like a starry eyed teenager