Sandeep Kulshrestha's Poetry

I love you and it is tragic as it is not within my understanding of the quality of my solace when I think of your face I love you and I cannot define it and neither I have the capacity to do so perhaps I just admire you or its just plain lust can I look at this state of mind as a trance? it makes me whirl myself in a "sufi" dance I haven’t lost my sobriety when I say that I love you I will not follow you where you go nor would I wait long hours in the dust of the by-lanes of your house perhaps I would never even show that what I feel is what I don’t know I love you and yet it’s not just about love nor it’s about what I feel or what I miss I can blame it on infectious togetherness the word “love” is theatrical but I don’t know of any other term to use and of course, thinking of you doesn’t give any clues

Turquoise, reds and yellows a crescendo of warmth the door opened towards a portrait of her mind mystical, if I may say so was the vibrant flow of expressions amidst timeless elegance the dull lights captured the rapture of an omnipresent aura words, some spoken some untraceable and some broken out of the shelf life of tempest emotions were surreal, painless, cold at times yet out of the warmest closet of her heart I met her though it was not the first time earlier, I had traveled somewhere near her charred soul the music and the time flew instantaneously like her immaculately effervescent self which proclaimed a negative space, within her though my objections remain intact on this reasoning The visit continues and the music doesn’t leave me her magical smile is the ultimate mystery

I pamper you with unsolicited stares looking at the contours of your eyes as you work and chide It’s just so invigorating seeing you being just so busy I pamper you by observations of your busy smart self as I smile within to see your confused, questioning smiles your giggle at the coffee machine is not really a whisper I can imagine magenta lips decreeing someone’s frowns and decadently sharing the escapades of the mind I pamper you by looking at your graceful walk with a swiftness and savvy couture so when i do all of this I imagine jazz music at a place where i will be gifted back much more than i could think of

Perhaps the fall designs the dreams to sip warm desire out of the melting pot of not so amicable arousal the leaves fall as nonchalantly as possible outside but when i go down and drink the very organic you your sublime intellectual banter escapes into a shell and the dormant whispers get submerged into a crescendo when the sip becomes profound It is thereafter not a sip anymore but a luxurious lap deeper than what the autumn can convey and you spread the feast casually you are the conductor the host, the torment music spreads like orgasm slow, seductive, serendipitous and my flavours get changed different colours of decadence spread their wings Interestingly, it is you who wants it to go on till the leaves don’t stop falling my thirst has just warmed up the tongue still mildly lubricated I need to drown It till I am fed with you

My directionless detente crucifies my senses I need the endless orgasm of the day where i lay barren, awake, liquid to be taken and in the cervix of a naked soul i need to make love to the breezy feeling of an ecstatic mind i am alive cosmic illusion sucks me in makes me what I am I need me endlessly I crave myself I give in I give out and the silence grants me my wish