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I miss you



I miss your gargoyle laughter
deep throated, vocal cords high
and the voice that had a resonating
charming quality
and I miss the way you would create
funny acts in the play of life
whether there were dark clouds,
shades of serendipity
or the pains of limitless proportions

I miss the way your eyes dance
not static as mine would be
they would wonder towards the
curious realm
sometimes on a page of the book you would read
and mostly outside the window
towards the afternoon lull
your eyes tell eternal stories
of past pain and all the rest

your abhorrence towards me now
is kosher and instinctive
it talks about your love
that has broken into fragments
my ways had been reckless and decadent
and I accept that I shouldn’t have said
what I said
I know it would be too late now
I miss the times of enchantment
and I wish to be the earlier me

Without you, the world around
is just a routine masquerade
sounds of cars honking,
the heat of the summer
the nasty winds and the dubious neighbours
they all look more omnipresent
then ever before

and then when I sit in the café
we used to visit,
I take the same place
and it is usually vacant
your flamboyance
is visible to me
and I miss you

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